Chocolate heartfish

Genital Surgery and my Chance at Hollywood

2007-07-10T13:19:40Z

My dear Diary,

First of all, three weeks ago I went to London to see the shrink and the genital surgeon. They were both amazingly sweet and kind, and they said yes! I was so elated, I still am.. I've set my surgery on the 8th of November. I'll be in London with my Maria and -amazingly- my mother!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then I can finally change my legal name (and perhaps wear some tight jeans)..

Also!
Last Friday I got an email by an australian company asking if I could do a test painting for a high-profile job. It turned out to be the film Elizabeth:The Golden Age starring Cate Blanchett, aaaand whichever artist did the best painting would be given the gig. I was one of the three runners-up but unfortunately the director didn't choose mine. Still, here it is, on Deviantart;

Cate Blanchett as Elizabeth by ~neofotistou on deviant ART

Kisses and love
Christina

last year's report...

2007-04-30T13:19:02Z

Dear Diary,

I haven't posted for a year, I'm not one for routine, for writing things down and checking replies, but I still find myself thinking fondly of keeping a journal. Transitioning is hard work actually, just the simple fact of trying to be what you are, and it took (and is still taking) a lot from me.

But these days I'm making short term plans for my genital surgery, shrinks finally having agreed that being a transwoman and a lesbian aren't mutually exclusive and a sign of schizophrenia. I'm active in our little lesbian group of Athens, where transphobic attitudes are lately subsiding or kept a secret, writing articles on lesbians and transgender people for lgbt magazines and newspapers, and becoming better-known as an illustrator. The greek edition of Esquire has made me a permanent contributor (I dread to read the contents of the magazine though, feminist sense is tingling). I'm still with Maria, my girlfriend of 6 years and 8 months as of tomorrow. I still have my ups and downs, but I'm happy, more and more and more, for the first time in my life have I been so happy.

Still can't get paid in my own name, and can't do practically anything legally because of the stupid laws in Greece allowing a change of legal identity only to transpeople who alter their genitals. Needless to say this is a completely transphobic and homophobic and third-world attitude but what can you do.

What else? A whole year has passed and I still can't think of much to write..
I finished a painting about rape, it got a huge number of replies and I was very very happy and moved that so many people care about social issues. I also got some personal emails from rape survivors which moved me to no end.

Maria got a job at the university, editing documents for the e-learning branch. It's a steady income and she feels useful and happy.

My dad is still not talking to me, or acknowledging my existence, and I occasionally dream of him being either physically violent and enraged with me or passive-aggressively devastated by grief and trying to pin the guilt on me. I'm afraid I will forget what he's really like and keep these dream images as real memories of him..

My mom has covered a lot of way though, she is very careful with pronouns, calls me every single day (long-distance!), occassionally sends me money, and once she even went shopping with me and bought me a skirt she didn't like at first but which has become my favorite. I dress solely in skirts, not only to avoid tucking the, er, clitoris away from prying eyes but also because I've wanted to for years and years. Plus trousers make me look less curved, and I'm NOT risking having a gender-variant appearance anytime soon.

A friend brought over a documentary about transmen a few days ago, and I helped him transcribe the text and translate it in greek. The film is called "Boy I am" and it was immaculate from a feminist standpoint, even though there still was some transphobia in it.

What else?
I'm out of ideas for surreal/symbolist paintings, and it's bugging me that this is out of my life, but I'm still hoping to recover. I look at my previous work on my website and find it of poor taste and execution. Er.. Maybe illustration is really my calling? Who knows! Medicine sure isn't though, since I've lost all drive to complete med school. Perhaps it's the fact that I have no legal support. Maybe when I get my female ID it will give me enough entitlement to go back and tell them I'm a student and a citizen and demand that I be taken seriously. On the other hand I can't think of myself studying for hours on end ever again...

Oh, also, after christmas, my shrink tried to bargain with me: his end of the bargain would be to accept I'm not psychotic, and my end of the bargain would be to be locked in a mental hospital for a month, with no ability to work, NO hormones, and (possibly but I didn't find out) in a male ward with male patients. I was tempted to accept, because things were looking amazingly bad at the time, but thankfully I was so terrified of the inhumane situation that I declined. It might have proved destructive for my self-esteem and my body-image and even my mental health, and the shrinks were too ignorant to be able to guarantee that they could rule out psychosis if I did as they said. If they thought a transwoman isn't equal to all other women and therefore has the right to be straight, bi or lesbian like everybody else, why would they believe me after a month in a mental ward?

Which reminds me of my former -also ignorant- therapist whom I quit a while after she uttered with incredible confidence the stupid dogma: "You can't call your penis a clitoris. Yyou have to love your penis and accept it, so that you will become devastated when you lose it to the surgery and therefore normal healing will follow". You stupid, ignorant, heteronormative, completely transphobic woman, if I *was* attached to a penis I'd be sad to lose it, but I'm a transWOMAN and even if I decided to keep what's down there, I'd still call it "a vagina, just different" until you were blue in the face. You fucking self-entitled, controlling, discriminating and pigeonholing ASSHOLE. HAH. I said it.

it's good to confess things. takes them off one's chest (38 B cup and growing).. and it helps me realise the reality of it all.

kisses
Christina

christina_n @ 2006-04-12T01:24:00

2006-04-11T23:01:57Z

The abusive assholes who tried to taunt and scare me and Maria have been defeated. The one whose parents we called up in the middle of the night is now facing their anger, apologised in the most humiliated manner, and gave us his new phone number so we can call him in case his friends harass us again. All three of them know they have been recorded and will suffer in a court of law, should they keep this up. I heard they're scared shitless.

I also found out that they had been harassing more people in the past few weeks, and nobody thought about doing anything about it. Perhaps me and Maria overreacted because we were protecting each other, but even scaring them off doesn't even begin to make up for what they've done.

It's actually the first time in my life that I actually did something to protect my interests against bullies. Me and Maria cornered them, as mature adults should, and it feels good...

On an even happier note; the local endocrinologist I visited doesn't treat transwomen, because she isn't an expert. But it was interesting that she didn't know I was TS before I told her. Eyes wide, she started complimenting on my face, figure, voice... I felt a little uncomfortable, since me blending in isn't something I expect to be congratulated on. It sounds as if they're trying to tell you you're faking it sooo well that nobody knows you're really a MAN :P

She used to work in the endocrinology department in an OB/GYN clinic, and referred me to their TS department. There's *one* clinic that specialises in transgender people in the whole country and I accidentally stumbled upon one of the few doctors who could refer me. *And* she thought I was pretty. How cool is that. So, I have an appointment this Thursday. This time I'm going to have a real specialist deal with my hormones instead of using my shaky knowledge of pharmacology and endocrinology to treat myself!

I also have an appointment with the art director of a major women's magazine (rivalling the greek COSMO), and there's a high chance they'll be hiring me as an illustrator.

Wheeee!

male privilege. WTF

2006-04-09T14:07:16Z

Ok. OK!! This is about male privilege. And possibly about other stuff too. I'm just not calm enough to associate what happened with feminist theory and give a proper psychological/social analysis. It's seriously too fucked up for even me to swallow for now.

Three super macho guys called me yesterday. I pick up my cell phone and someone pretending to be an old friend of mine calls me by (former male) name. “how are you? What are you doing in Athens?” – I work. George is that you?
“Yes you got me. Come on, you can tell me everything, I know 'working' is not the only thing you’re doing”. Insinuating my gender transition. At the moment I’m thinking my parents made him call me to convince me I’m doing wrong.
“You know, it’s a good thing too. People should take things into their own hands sometimes” He was being too sweet. I didn’t have anything intelligent to say, so I made a sound of agreement.
“So, tell me, do you get any dick now?” (people laughing in the background). I hang up.

They call again. I know I don't stand a chance at winning, since they have a script they'll go by. So my girlfriend, Maria, picks it up. They say they’re friends of mine, she’s asking questions, they have no clue who she is at first, so they get increasingly hostile, calling me $&*@ transvestite, calling her things I both can't and don't want to translate. Maria was calm and polite, inviting them to say more. We were recording them from some point onward and she let them know. They called us by increasingly less imaginative names, and threatened, among other things, to give my phone number to everyone, so more people could bug me. Which of course is what every str8 guy should do, isn’t it? People like me surely shouldn’t roam around freely, destroying our morality and sense of justice by doing nothing provocative at all apart from existing…

After a half an hour or so, and having consulted some of my friends (Maria was still talking to the creeps) I knew these guys were three assholes from university, so we called them by name, and told them there are going to be consequences. They kept saying dreadful things, and seemed to be a little obsessed with their testes, their penis size and the sex practices of gay people. We made good on our promise and so Maria called the parents of one of the guys, whose number we got from the guy’s ex. The creeps had been calling for two hours, and still wouldn’t quit.

It was 4 in the morning, and we ring the poor parents up telling them we're sorry to disturb them, but it is about their son. They wake up for good, Maria tells them she is a fellow student of their son’s, and he’s been calling with his friends for hours, saying fucked up stuff, and could they please do something about it? Now the good thing about bullies in my university is that they depend on their parents, and this guy all the more so. They were very polite and frightened, and apologized.

Until then we weren’t sure if we were right about who the guys were. They were calling with hidden caller ID, and even though we did find their number, and called them by name, they didn’t give up calling us. Such confidence, in their cowardice… Anyway, after we called the parents, the phonecalls stopped. Their guilt was proven.

Today my friend (the guy’s ex who helped me last night) told me that he called her up and said he has emergency family problems, and she should go see him immediately. I'm sure his parents didn't appreciate him sexually harassing people when he's supposed to be studying.That’s the story so far.

The hatred that some people harbor. Male people. Who come up to what in their mind is weaker people, to try and humiliate them, for *fun*. And I’ve honestly never ever said anything so much as “greetings” to these creeps, in my 6 years of med school. The fact that they think they are entitled to doing such a thing because I’m a transwoman is so fucked up. And frightening. Even though I totally understand the way their mind works, and I’m not naïve any more. And how the hell can a medical student even THINK about commenting on a person's cancer? Maria is healthy now- which they have no clue about- but wtf? Isn't that below-the-belt for even really really low people?

And you know what is even more frightening? The fact that I was afraid for even a minute the boy’s parents would turn against me. Why the fuck should I feel helpless? And they didn’t even know I’m transsexual. But even though they heard a “normal girl” on the phone, I was afraid they might approve of their boy’s “playful attitude” and deny it was sexual harassment at all. I’m glad my fear is unfounded, but I’m not glad it’s so probable, that I thought of it as a possibility.

And it's not as if being transgender is the real problem here. Maria is cis-gendered, and it was she who got to bear the full brunt of their blind anger/frustration/immaturity. 25-year-olds... Doctor wannabees...

I’m sorry, it’s one hard mouthful to swallow. And I won't shut up about it.

creepy stalker night

2006-04-08T20:17:25Z

Iiiin other news!
A guy hit on me on the street the day before yesterday. Not so good.
OK, so I was getting out of a pub, and parted with my friend. She later said she saw the guy, on a motorbike staring at us. I started walking home and didn't notice him beside me for about 5 minutes. I stopped politely when I first saw him, I thought he was asking me for directions. Instead he said "doll, do you want to go out?". I went on walking and didn't reply at first. Then he stopped his bike in front of me again and said "come on, don't go, I just want us to talk like civillised people" This freaked me out, and I smiled politely and said "no thank you".

Still a few meters ahead, he stopped beside me once more. He laid out the plan; we can go out anywhere I want, eat anything I want, drink anything I want, and that I shouldn't mind the bike, he also has a car parked near there. I stopped walking and told him I have to go home. To my boyfriend. Now. "So can't you get an hour's permission?" No. I have a relationship. "And is that a bad thing?"

Of course it's bad you creepy asshole. And one hour for dinner AND sex? Premature ejaculator perhaps?

Yes, a rational girl would say those things. A rational girl would insult them or speak her mind about them. I, on the other hand, kept on walking, and he kept stalking me, until thankfully the street came to a right turn and was forced to leave me alone as I turned left. As was to be expected, he had the last word (since I wasn't talking any more) "All right, cutie, it's all ok. All right?"
Yes it's all right to stalk me for a quarter of an hour, while I'm walking on a night street, ready to burst into tears, feeling ugly (no make-up and a casual maxi skirt), and then imply that I did something wrong.

I called Maria as soon as he left and tried to catch my breath. In the long walk home, *another* creep started following me. I pretended to look at a shop window until he went past me and I turned another way. He didn't follow me, and just as I started to feel I was paranoid, and not every guy can possibly be an asshole tonight, he started wolf-whistling at me.

Strange how you don't get to feel any more attractive after encounters like this. A lot more dirty, a lot less cute and innocent, yes.

Creeps.

dream

2006-04-08T19:51:28Z

I just dreamt of my parents. In the dream I was in my family's house. They were so happy to see me, we were getting along just fine. I had missed them. Mom told me they want to make up for everything, they want to take me out to dinner. I was a little apprehensive, but said ok. Then she changed her mind and said that dad wanted me to go out with him. "Man to man" is what she said. I just felt like dying. Daddy came and he looked utterly devastated and sad but trying genuinely to smile. I woke up in terror. I'm homesick. The end.

I can't be a boy. Even if this means my parents will never ever want to see me again.

warning: artistic nudity and useless whining (as if anyone will see this)

2006-03-28T22:27:07Z

I'm posting a drawing I did for a photo. In professional photoshoots you have to do a pencil sketch first. This is me in the sketch, and amazingly it is going to be me in the photo as well. Yes I know I'm ugly and not born a girl... but it seems that a photographer kinda likes my personality and offered me a nude artistic photoshoot! Yes I know how ironic this sounds :D
I'm going to call the photo "under control" and it depicts a girl (well, me) whose vagina is covered with skin-tone band aid strips, and there's a big red cross above the clitoris.

Unless he takes his offer back.... I'm feeling a little down today. And it can be traced back to this: This evening I saw a magazine art-director, we had an appointment. He wanted to talk to me about my artwork which he had seen previously, and probably to offer me some work. I went there, and he was kind enough, but looked and sounded unimpressed. The illustrator who introduced me to said art director, told me that before he met me he was really enthusiastic about my work. So I have good reason to believe he didn't like the way I look. I had a look around in his offices, and all the girls who worked for him were beauty queens...

So, ok, maybe it's not the most feminist of thoughts, but I'm a little depressed that not being pretty can lose you some work... And I wish I was.

anyway, warning: artistic nudity, non work-safe
also: warning: strange artistic perspective

and kisses to stef... please don't be too sad

make-up, guys and sexism

2006-03-25T21:16:02Z

I went out shopping yesterday. See, I always put on little make-up. But yesterday was different; I accidentally overdid it with the rouge a bit, and it also brought out the colour of my lips. On the street I usually get a few glances, mostly calculating rather than appreciative. Yesterday was, again, different; I got stared at, complimented on and even winked at once! By guys, no less.

Now, I'm relatively femme for a lesbian, and relatively girly for a transsexual. And yet, I seldom get this sort of thing. It had to mean something. My gf pointed out that when you're made up you send out a signal that you're available. It sounds reasonable and logical. But why? What is it that makes men think that when a girl tries to fix a few sins on her face (pimples anyone? how about thin lips?) she is trying to sell herself to them? Why do they think everything and everyone has to revolve around their pleasure?

To be perfectly fair, this seems to apply mostly to lower class guys, and many lower class girls *do* overuse make-up, at least here in Greece... Perhaps it is a prerequisite that girls be excessively feminine (read; looking like drag-queens) and men excessively masculine (read apes) in order to attract each other? **Note: no I'm not a man-hating bitch. Not any more.**

Oh well. Rambling to myself does seem to help a bit...

Also; we bought a washing machine. Buuut, we were a little dumb with the dimensions, and now it doesn't fit in the bathroom. Or rather it fits, but the door doesn't open, impeded by the bathing tub. Our solution? We are going to build a pedestal with cement and bricks, and get the washer on it, so that the door will be above the bathtub edge. Girly stuff. It feels weird enough to be making a home together, me and my girlfriend. We didn't need sand and cement dust all over... But it's going to be fun.

original short fic, I guess..

2006-03-21T10:29:18Z

A little sad, this one.

---------
"Family"

Daddy was driving. It was a sunny morning. Sister was chatting away on the cell-phone beside him. I was sitting in the back of the car, daydreaming about boys. Nobody expected any better of me, since I was only fifteen, so I was happy to oblige.

“-What do you mean we don’t have much time to pack? I need my books and I need my make-up and…”

The thing about going on vacation as a family is, some of us just can’t be pleased. Big sis was making a fuss and daddy was trying to calm her down. I wish they’d both shut up…

“-Come on, sweetie, you’re going to be meeting all sorts of interesting friends on the island”
You have to do better than that, daddy. And then, in his sweetest voice:
“Did you have this skirt shortened? It looks so good on you.”

Hey come on big sis, what does it take to make you smile? And she did. Then she let out a laugh, and the stupid tension was resolved. She was still laughing when daddy, tears streaking down his eyes, calmly steered the car over the cliff.

The car took, like, an eternity to hit the ground. Daddy was looking sadly at sis, with a fake smile on his face, and she didn’t look all that keen on doing anything about anything. We just fell.

My family was dead, when I was saved from the wreckage. But it was a stupid old car anyway, and there was worse to come. Like when I had to look up sis in the morgue. She looked dead. And kinda peaceful… Maybe she hadn’t heard me confirm that she is indeed my brother, when the scary doctor who looked like a pervert asked me to identify the body. No sex change for you, big sis... Not in this life. At least you won’t be crying yourself to sleep tonight.

And dad… Poor daddy. He used to have a son, but his son never thought of it that way. My ex brother always used to joke about how dad wouldn’t be able to handle his two daughters when he became a she. Always the feminist, my sis. It wasn’t daddy’s fault, though. “All those changes can’t be natural”, dad used to say. I used to agree then. Rest in peace, daddy; I’m no longer jealous that you loved her more.

The wonderful thing about life, however, isn’t death or relief, or closure. It’s the way you learn to reply “I’m fine” when people ask how you’ve been.

And then you spread your wings again and take the plunge.

---------
I wrote it down to get it out of my head.

kisses,
Christina

christina_n @ 2005-05-07T17:48:00

2005-05-07T14:48:48Z

here's an essay

kisses,
christina

History of the female orgasm, and so-called female ejaculation, in Western culture.
By Christina Neofotistou

Strange as it may sound today, it remains a fact that the female orgasm and the –still controversial- phenomenon of female ejaculation, have long been kept deliberately obscure. In today’s western culture, the female orgasm is recognised and considered a natural and integral part of human sexual activity. It isn’t widely known, however, that the acknowledgement of this facet of female sexuality has been battled against for centuries, having evoked the wrath of the Church, the contempt of the medical profession and the resentment of the patriarchally-structured society.

The history of the female orgasm begins with the first writings, based on observations by Hippocrates and commited to paper by his students. Hippocrates believed that “the foetus results from mixing the male and female sperm”. He held, therefore, that in order to ensure reproduction, the woman has to produce enough “sperm” and thus it is essential that she is pleasured during intercourse.

The next allusion to the female orgasm is rather disappointing and comes from Aristotle. Aristotle’s opinion of the female reproductive system as an inferior version of its male counterpart is well-known. This seemed to be rather easy to accept at the time, since women (as well as juvenile boys and girls) were considered socially inferior. Moreover, a prominent feature in Aristotle’s views on reproduction is the conviction that, contrary to the male sperm, the “female sperm” is infertile, and therefore women have no active part in conception, and don’t deserve pleasure. Taking into consideration that Aristotle affected all mankind’s beliefs in anatomy and medicine (as well as philosophy) in a major way up until the 18th century, the impact of his theory has been especially harmful against the acceptance of female anatomy, physiology and psychology, with regards to the sexual act. In fewer words, he left the world with the wrong idea about what the female body worked like, and what physical and emotional needs women have during the sexual act.
Claudius Galen ,the famous 2nd century AD Greek doctor, supported Hippocrates’ assumption, and proceeded to describe what he called the “female prostate” which he also studied with surgical cuts, way ahead of his time. This organ, he maintained, secretes a kind of fluid which is released during orgasm. This description, to this day, remains our first written report on female ejaculation.

Galen’s and Hippocrates’ wild ideas, however, were rejected during the Middle Ages, and were as we know replaced by the more down-to-earth, and more consistent with the patriarchy, beliefs of Aristotle. The Leadership of the Clergy imposed upon their flock an extensive system of confession and repentance, in order to surgically disassociate sexual drive from sexual pleasure, in both men and women. However on women in particular, abstinence was enforced, in conjunction with “chastity” and sexual isolation, since female sexuality was inexplicably associated with the devil. People still believed that female orgasm exists, but leaders of the Church and of the Medical community (which had gradually earned respect and invariably served the purpose of the Clergy) were placing into dispute the morality of women who actually experienced it.

The act of masturbation, as is known, suffered the most vehement attack, during this period. Modern-day sociological analysis translates this fear and persecution of masturbation (and also homosexuality) as an attempt on behalf of the Church to avert low birthrate, which would deprive the Christian army of valuable human cannon fodder, since imperialism was strongly pursued by both Christians and Muslims at the time. It is to this bright idea that we owe tales of sin and divine retaliation surrounding such acts. Masturbation (still today synonyms of “self-abuse” and “self-pollution” in dictionaries) and homosexuality were meticulously turned into sin, which could result in physical disability (blindness, toothlessness and the like), mental retardation and even excommunication. Naturally, female masturbation was even more punishable, to such an extent that it probably was wiped out for some time.
Reports of female ejaculation during this period are frequent in a multitude of published stories. Yet, it is difficult to. identify which cases were written by an actual beholder of the phenomenon, as opposed to the widely-spread male sexual fantasy.

During the Renaissance, the belief that woman’s pleasure is necessary to achieve pregnancy recurs. Despite the fact, though, the common admonition at the time was to avoid getting women “addicted” to frequent sexual activity.

In the 17th century, Regnier De Graaf- a Dutch doctor- left us the first modern observation and description of both the female genitalia and the question of vaginal discharges. He also described an organ which “completely surrounds the urethra and could be named the ‘female prostate’ or ‘glandular body’ (corpus glandulosum)”.

In the 19th century, well-known for its Puritanism, it was discovered that ovulation isn’t associated with the woman’s pleasure, that it is instead a normal, completely automated process of the female body. Female pleasure was once again rejected within wedlock, while the husband had to do everything he could to avoid causing sexual desire to his spouse, even during intercourse! Syphilis played a dramatic role in favour of sexual repression, and all the while the American movement of the “hygienists” was spreading the motto “the infected woman rots the man’s sex and body”.
De Graaf’s description of the “prostate” in females, referring to the glands that surround the female urethra, summarizes the common views about the anatomy of this bodypart for about 200 years. In 1880 Dr Alexander Skene, professor of gynecology at the Long Island College Hospital of Brooklyn, wrote a research paper in which he described and drew charts of various glands and ducts surrounding the female urethra. In contemporary medicine, they are known as Skene glands, a term used to this day.
World War II intervenes. After the end of the hostilities, the feminist movement earned the female population more confidence. Women got a chance to explore their sexuality, and female orgasm was once again established as normal sexual behaviour, this time by women themselves.
Also important is the leading figure of Sigmund Freud, who in his book “General Introduction in Psychoanalysis” in 1916, insisted that “the transition towards the state of female maturity strongly depends on the early and complete transfer of the sensitivity of the clitoris to the vaginal cavity”. The importance of this infamous proposition is that it marked clitoral orgasms as “childish”. Alfred Charles Kinsey overturned Freud’s theory in 1953, by proving that 50% of the 2700 Americans included in his study reached orgasm with clitoral stimulation, and that nothing attested to these women being less mature that the ones who had vaginal orgasm. Later still, in the 70ies, sexologists Martins and Johnson ascertained the suspicion that there is only one kind of orgasm, and the feeling spans the clitoris up until the muscles surrounding the vagina. The argument of immature orgasms is considered resolved today, however a large portion of the sexologists keep resenting the Freudian hypothesis because they believe it still confuses women about their orgasm.
In 1953 Dr Samuel Berkow, urologist, concluded Skene’s glands are made of erectile tissue, much like the penis and the clitoris. He was satisfied with the explanation that what it does is control the compliance of the urethra. The question of erection during sexual activity wasn’t examined at the time.
Which brings us to 1950- German obstetrician Ernst Grafenberg, who wrote down his observations on the forceful ejection of some type of transparent and clear fluid from the urethra of women during climax. His article appeared in the International Journal of Sexology. Grafenberg initially thought that the intensity of the orgasm had momentarily paralysed the urethral sphincter (the valve which controls urination). The known bibliography already contained cases of involuntary urination during intercourse. However, analysis of the samples that Grafenberg studied clearly showed no urinal character of the specimens. His explanation was that these weren’t cases of urination, but instead secretions of glands inside the urethra, which had something to do with the erogenous area along the urethra, on the front vaginal wall. Moreover, he observed that these secretions had no lubricant function, otherwise they would be excreted when intercourse started and not during climax.
At the same time, the medical and scientific society were violently against studying indications of female ejaculation, considering them instead as the consequence of incontinence. They thought of the “ejaculation” as an unwanted dysfunction, which was the cause of much distress, feeling of guilt and shame in female “patients/ There were also many recorded cases of criticism from their spouse and even divorce against women who experienced the phenomenon, and in some cases, “corrective surgery” was performed on the urethra.
It should be noted here that doctors at the time (and sadly even today), while they might have a fairly good grasp of urology and obstetrics, they nonetheless had little to no training or hands-on practice on human sexuality. If a woman came to a doctor complaining of alleged urine discharges during intercourse, he would have difficulty even considering to manually examine the sensitivity of the frontal vaginal wall to the touch. Even if the doctor in question was learned enough and clever enough to suspect the discharge originated from Skene’s glands, morality prohibited him from performing a simple Ob/Gyn examination to replicate sexual stimulation in order to study the phenomenon.
This prudishness is also evident from the fact that the first vibrators for medical use weren’t phallic in shape. It is well-known that since as old as the middle ages, priests used to “cure” women’s sexual desire –which they would translate into “possession from malevolent spirits”-by secretly copulating with them. This practice went on even when “possession” was dubbed “hysteria”, or “neurasthenia” (hysteria from greek “hysteraia” = uterus). Doctors in spite of refusing to accept orgasm as a normal human need inherent in woman, began to manually stimulate the clitoris of their hysteric “patient”. This treatment concluded, of course, with an orgasm or, as it used to be called, “hysterical tension release”. As expected, the “cure” wasn’t permanent, and consequently the female sexual desire was considered a “chronic disease”. The first vibrators, therefore, were non-sexual organs, since the phallic-shaped speculum of the gynecologists had provoked the wrath of moralists.
In the early 1980s, the book “The G Spot and Other Recent Discoveries about Human Sexuality” introduced the term “G spot”, referring to the aforementioned 1950 research by Grafenberg (whose initial is what the G spot is named after, in his honour). The term G-spot (more aptly-named G-crest) is used to describe a protrusion of the frontal vaginal wall, about 4-5 centimeters away from the vaginal opening, which according to Grafenberg and the authors of the book is especially sensitive to stimulation. The recognition of the G spot is of interest to this very essay, because its stimulation is –apparently- the cause of female ejaculation.
Another important announcement was made in 1980, when Perry and Whipple presented the medical community with a recorded abstract from the SSSS (Society for the Scientific Study of Sex), showing clearly a woman ejaculating. Martin Weisberg MD, a gynecologist at the Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia, following the projection and after private study, accepted female ejaculation. His conclusions agreed with Whipple and Perry’s, that the composition of the fluid isn’t urinal in character, and that it is instead close to the composition of prostate fluid.
The end of the 20th century and the beginning of the 21st are causing rapid changes in the way that medicine and the Western society in general perceive the human body, its functions and needs. Contraception, the recent discovery of the “morning after pill”, the choice of abortion and also the widespread decrease in religious fanaticism around the world, have all caused us to reconsider the female body. From the reproductive machine it was once considered to be, to the human body full of sexual needs and rights that we believe it today to be. The phenomenon of female ejaculation isn’t fully acceptable, especially to gynecologists, although it causes more of a stir among sexologists. The female orgasm is totally undisputable today. It is comforting to see, however, that the history of this double question on female sexuality is one of progress and not regression.

Sources:
1. Masters W and Johnson V. – Human Sexual Response” Boston, Little Brown 1966 page 135
2. Whipple Beverly, Komisaruk Barry: “The G spot, orgasm and female ejaculation: Are they related?” – The First International Conference on Orgasm Presentation, February 1991, page 230
3. Perry John D., Whipple Beverly “Pelvic muscle strength of female ejaculation” – Journal of Sex
4. Ladas Alice K., Whipple Beverly, Perry John D “The G Spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality” – New York, Dell Publishing 1982, page152
5. Graaf Regnier (1672) “New treatise concerning female ejaculation and the female prostate”
6. Gr’a’fenberg Ernst “The role of urethra in female orgasm” – International Journal Of Sexology
7. Zaviacic M., Zaviacicova A., Holoman I. K. and Molcan J “Female urethral expulsions, evoked by local digital stimulation of the G-spot: Differences in the responsive patterns” – The Journal of Sex, Research,24 1988 pages 311-318
8. Fouceault M, “History of Sexuality” – volume 1

Prologue

2005-04-16T20:18:08Z

Hi AnD WeLComE tO mY bLog

where you are most likely to read ramblings about what I like, am troubled by or annoyed with.

it is also possible that there will be paintings, sketches and other art-related uselesness by me.

feel free to friend me, and I'll probably (be)friend you back if you go into the trouble to ask.

well, how's this for a new post..

kisses,

christina